going zen

Today I had to leave the house for the first time since last Saturday, seriously I have been in our home for 120 hours.  No field trips for my daily 4PM  ice coffee, like any other home office day. No going down to get the mail just for a break.   Although I have spoken to a couple of the doormen asking them to send the Fedex man up for outgoing profile pickups,  our two morning guys have asked my husband if I am locked in a closet or tied up.  Other than that strangely enough I don't think anyone has really noticed my lack of comings and goings.  In case anyone who may stumble across this blog is wondering; just for the record, I do shower every day, but no makeup, and my uniform is Splendid or Prana sweat pants and a Gap tank top.   

Back to why I left the house.   I needed some elective surgery, (Is it elective if you ultimately have to have it done but you just choose now?) and the timing was right with needing to be home for the next few weeks.   The surgery was not cosmetic in any way, shape or form.  I may be an "older mom-to-be" but not ready for that yet, though I never say never.  So I gave my sister notes and an abbreviated training on how to answer the "hotline" if anyone calls, left her here at 7 AM with a full pot of coffee and took my Mom with me to the hospital.  In my brain I had the entire day worked out: my surgery was scheduled for 9 AM, 1 hour in the O.R., 1 hour in recovery and then 1 hour sitting up and learning to walk on crutches...home by Noon, back on the hotline hopefully not zonked on oxycodone.   "The best laid plans...yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Surgery was an hour delayed, recovery was busy so home by two and one missed phone call. Arghhhh.  Sis said a man phoned, asked for me and the conversation went like this:

  Sis: "I am Sis,  her sister, she had to step out for a bit, but she is going to be so excited     you called, but I would love to speak with you about Lisa and Hubby, they are so excited 

to have a child. 

Male caller: "I will call her later."

Sis:  "She will be back soon, I would love to speak with you about my sister and her husband for a bit."

Male caller: I am busy now, I will call her later."

It is 11 PM now and he didn't phone back.  I did hit redial and call him back as I was advised is OK.  I said, "Hi, this is Lisa, someone called about our ad today"....click.   I am going Zen.  You know the whole control what you can control belief.  My brain keeps asking, "what if that were the one? What if the other girl changes her mind or picks someone else?   Why was my surgery late?  Why? What if? What can I do?  It just keeps going in an endless loop in my head.   I am trying to go Zen. 

Knitting content: Working on glimmer shrug from Knitty.com in Blue Sky Alpaca skinny organic, but my brain is fuzzy from the good stuff so it is two rows forward one row back.