I don't want to say much, but I can say the process of running an ad and speaking to about 14 or so women about their pregnancies and lives as well as creating our family with their help has been nothing that I thought it would be. The woman I had worked with to "train" me on how to answer the phones and have the conversations for the most part was dead on. Despite being forewarned about the content of these conversations the actual experience was...well I don't know that I can find the words. The emotions were overwhelming and some of the stories were so sad....I know we all know there are many people in need in this country; in need of money, love and women in need of self esteem, but to speak to some of them and build relationships and connections has been my honor and my heartbreak. I don't think it is right to go into details of any of their lives or tell specific stories, but I will say that I am glad we chose to create our family in this process. None of it was scrubbed or screened by an agency, although it is all legal, I or my husband were the first person these women got to speak to and we each, on both sides of the phone, were able to decide whether or not we wanted to proceed with this person.
I will end by saying....wearethisclose with someone. She is a lovely, sweet, intelligent woman who given the right opportunities and support would have a different life. She will always be spoken of with respect in our home. We are committed to open adoption and we will hold up our end of the bargain as long as it is safe for child.
One of the things I have wondered is why there are no "chronicles" of this sort anywhere. I know that I was looking for "what to expect" in the process of open adoption using an attorney rather than an agency. I have seen other couples and single parents ads when I have looked for ours. Why didn't I find a "how to" for this process. Maybe I didn't look hard enough or perhaps I was the only person looking for some guidance.
She is right around the corner...
No comments:
Post a Comment